Schwazer: “I lied to Carolina. I went to Turkey to dop myself, I was a junkie”

In the bookshop “After the finish line”, in which the walker confesses: “Sragionavo. And I was ready to lie, because taking drugs also means lying. I was happy with Carolina because her solitude was like mine “

“I was a junkie, I used to go to Turkey to dop”. This time they are not insinuations, the words come from the pen of Alex Schwazer, published in the autobiography “After the finish line”, published by Feltrinelli. “Innsbruck-Vienna, Vienna-Antalya. I told Carolina Kostner and my parents that I would go to Rome, to FIDAL – writes the South Tyrolean – I kept my cell phone on even at night, to prevent the Turkish telephone company from sending the message. I was already thinking as an addict. Or rather, I was unreasonable. And I was ready to lie, because taking drugs also means lying ”. It is not the confession of a devil and not even the apology of an angel – we read in the introduction -. Anyone who wants to read the biography of a sinless man must choose another one, not mine “.


“He sent me a message to invite me to a party in Ortisei, for the silver in Gothenburg – says Alex about Kostner -: his first, true, great success. We still didn’t know each other. I replied that I had to train and, in order not to make a bad impression, I offered to go and see her in Turin. After a pizza and two bottles drank almost alone, I spilled the drink on her. We made it five in the morning. We were in tune. My loneliness was very similar to hers ”.


Nine months after the filing of the criminal case for doping, born of the accusation on the eve of the Rio 2016 Games, and 6 months after the no of the Tas in Lausanne which precluded him from Tokyo 2020, Schwazer tells his truth: “Maybe the last summer, with the legal acquittal and the no to the Olympics, something snapped inside me and I decided to close the deal with the past. I felt ready – he said in an interview with Corriere del Veneto -. I gave the book to Sandro (Donati, ed.), My coach, to Gerhard (Brandstätter, ed.), My lawyer, clarifying immediately: don’t expect a book of inquiry because I only talk about my life. I would not have been able to find the motivation to write fifty pages about how I won in Beijing, about doping or about what happened in Rio in 2016. Many crucial points in my story have been deliberately soft: I did not want my autobiography to contain thoughts of hatred and resentment. I did not give space to the people who hurt me or to those who got on the winner’s wagon and then got off as soon as things went badly “.


“When I hit rock bottom, I wondered how I got into that situation – writes the walker -. That day marked the rebirth of the man I had inside and who for a long time hadn’t found space to go out. That day I realized that I was in an immense and apparently dead-end labyrinth, in which I had been groping for years. A labyrinth in which I had lost everything. The person I was, my girlfriend, the credibility, the dignity. Only now have I gotten out of it. I survived an ambush, a devious and cruel plot that at other times would have annihilated me. Even today, five years later, I don’t know how I managed to keep my balance. This is the story I want to tell “

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Schwazer: “I lied to Carolina. I went to Turkey to dop myself, I was a junkie”